new army diary (joker does canada lmfao

ok i know u all wanna read aboot ma life stories (hillarious as they are),well" here is a diary i can never forget~!!,after doing a 6 month tour in ireland,i arrived back in germany . put ma hands up for a 6 month tour a canada,a mean come on! who the fuck in there right mind widdnae,it was summer over there,i had never seen abroad apart fae the "fatherland" germany"., ma furthest a ever went fae wishaw was blackpool in the summer:-),compliments of hutchie buses in overtown...so..... i arrived in sunny "calgary" aye" u know the place" where "eddie" the wank eagle, made his mark,so i creamed it in man!,they loved the scottish accent over there,ok a still had a wee bit ae a stutter but a was getin there :-)a was there to support a tank regiment,and if a remember the camp a was in, was being run by the notorious "blackwatch",a brilliant scottish regiment,a later found out to my advantage,hey"they look after there own;-)..., the camp a was in was brilliant,a coudnt get over why the canadians had chips fur breakfast,a brunch they called it,fuk sake steak,eggs,chips fur breakfast? aldo u fat bastart ,a piled the weight on,soon lost the cunt tho?,read on.......like a said it was summer over there,and we had a two week r&r coming up, me and a few mates decided we were heading fur a place called "medicine hat",the army pay officer gave us loads a dollars tae spend",ma 1st day in medicine hat went well(not).we arrived in the wee toon aboot mid-day,a was the 1st wan tae notice they were all indians,we went intae this pool hall,(aldo being a hustler),& racked up a few pool games,...hey!!.its aldos round,as a made ma wae tae the bar and this lassie was sat there giving me huge smiles :-) :-) :-)ok a know a had a good sun tan,but she says" hey" what tribe are you from???,pissin maself laffin a was,"sorry doll "but am noo in a tribe?,next minute she slaps me aroon the head,and shouts tae some asshole in the corner,whos aboot 6ft plus",he slithers up the bar screaming at me,dressed in proper indian shit!,cowboy boots,&a stupit fuckoff hat on ,wae a feather hangin fae it!............,hey aldo noo put up wae nae shito :-)a made ma wae back tae the pool tables,still laffin,set the table up fir another game,as this giant kept walkin roon the table and pickin the black ball up? mumblin tae himself,"ma table its ma table"...................................he "who dares wins" aldo", by that time a was gettin so fucked off wae the dummy,the bar staff were warning us, he was a "nutjob", obviously he hadnt met aldo(hahaha),a went to take a shot and the muppet picked the white ball up!....lets call it a day ma mate said!!............ aye so a fuckin will? a looked at ma mate" and said" when a say move? get the fuck oot the way?,a grabbed the pool cue ,turned it around so the big butt end was at the bottom&screamed!!!!right fuckin move bud", ma mate shifted tae wan end as a wrapped this cue around the indians neck..............////////////wooooooooooo take that "bitch :-)"fuck sake" the cue snapped across his head and the big bastard was still stood there!!!the white baw dissapeared in his hand as he followed through, catching me straight in the face,his hands were that big a never seen it,a must a went 6 foot across the floor"talk aboot seeing stars*********,the big bastard had split ma lip,blood spurtin oot every where,the bar staff run over , and hes still screaming!! gonna kill u gonna kill u"(laffin ma ass off at fuckin "robocop",a was injured,blood running down ma shirt,the lassie fae the bar takes me intae the toilet to clean me up" a was a sorry site,split lip,headache,and wanted revenge!!wow she said"u gotta lotta "spunk" facing up to him"------------> gotta lotta spunk aye:-),a was sat in the toilet seat resting ma wounds and she says,"hes still there waitin for you?....kool a says" can u do me a favour?? sure she says"..............aldo<---.anychance u kin fetch me two balls in from a table??she arrives back,bewildered. a took ma sock off" stuck the balls in ma sock tied a knot in them and wrapped it round ma hand(seen it in a movie called "scum"a walked out the toilet to see the fanny stood there wae a grin on his face?.... a was just aboot tae wipe it off:-)u had enough brit he said"...... naw! fuck face!!!! as a let it rip wae ma right hand,catching him square across the head"....... yyeeeeeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaaaa,he hit the deck like a bag a shit"trust me"if he never felt it? ma mum did in scotland" it echoed around the pool hall.whos the daddy noo"tonto" as a screamed in his face.........,a was the local hero",this barmaid arrived again and said" hey the boss is on wae over she wants a word?wanna know what she said??tuff? read ma next diary""a.l.d.o

hangover from hell

yes its sunday i think (lol).......geeze av i got a hangover :-S..been on the booze all dae yesterdae and now am fuckin suffering........its now 08:40am im in a trance. dont even know wot the fuck im doing in here hahaha. i got 8 bottles a bud in the fridge........... hmm du i go get one? nooooooooo joker noooooooooo , i get them laterz :) i just got one thing to say to all you good looking ladies who visit my site.... yes you!! u know who u are so without further adue click this

tits_ringtone.mp3

hmmmmmm