blog update

ok i have managed to fix the audio problems in the videos,so hopefully the next videoblog will be live in a few moments,.let me know if it sounds ok,i have also reduced the rate it plays so hopefully no jamming

joker

feedback needed

is it just me,or is there is a sound problem with my videoblogs,ive been using moviemaker 2 to create the videos and when i use earphones to playback the file then the sound is ok,however using the buit in speakers on my pc then the audio is low! how many peeps are having that prob? i will work on a solution if other peeps are having the same prob

ok readers listen up

metacafe are deleting my videos assholes so here we go click image
"in the army now

and here they are the edited vertions

Jokers Diaries Part One - The best free videos are right here

my video blogs

ok ive deleted the old video blogs as im now using windows movie maker using editing,the all new diaries are apearing here shortly

after taking the job on at the telegraph my life changed,not only doing local sport, i went from sat/sunday football, to premier games and also,boxing,the embassy world darts,moto x & ice-hockey but to name a few,hell i was even supplying the birmingham post and mail,the tribune,the bed echo and numerous others.
the sports paper was a sell out and two years on they introduced the "midweek pink" this was the beginning!!

new diaries part three

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

new video reel added

kool eh? yup watch videos now without leaving this blog.. thanx to google,i will update it daily

jokers/aka/aldo/aka nutjob

beavercam

Beaver Cam - Epic Movie - The funniest videos clips are here

the new diaries part two

well eventually i married carol,she hated my guts the first time we ever met. i remember the first time meeting her on a blind date before i left the forces,we barely spoke as i still had that damn fukin stammer,hell people found it amusing,ripping the pish outta me,maybe the funniest part about that stammer was the time i was in catterick garrison,and decided to give her a call,it was the old coin operated ones hanging up on the billet walls in the corridor,ffs by the time i managed to say how u doin carol i had spent about £10,wot a stammer that was.anywae back to this 2nd part diary....i finally settled down into civilian life,and had another daughter laura two years later,i had a kool job at the time working for peugeot car factory,highly paid,i then moved up in the world got meself a mortgage. i played a major part as a dad,yup joker the daddy lol

spending every bit a sparetime i had bringing them up,we had a good relation ship,a hell of a sex life,and so many funtimes together,well u know wot its like if u married young you cant keep ure hands of each other,carol was in all honesty my 1st serious relationship,and one i will always remember......but thats another diary.

back to my drink problem,hmmm where does one start?maybe @the beginning i suppose,ok so why the fuck do i drink to excess,maybe goes back to my childhood,dad was an alchoholic,i watched him every day hiding bottles,and cans and he was never awae from the pub,not that i can use him as my excuse,pers i drink to block things out,and over the past year ive totally lost it,drinking sometimes seven days a week,and this is believe it or not day 1,which ive marked on the callander,as the first day ive not taken a drink,im not saying am packin it up for good,and im takin things one day @a time....ive seen myself drink 40 cans a beer in two days,am i bragging? hell noo,and why the fuck am i still here? coz sum one up there must like me.

my life was torn apart at the seams,which you will all see in the forthcoming jokers diaries...

joker/aldo/aka/nutjob

surprise you did it? yes joker is a alcoholic, but!! read this diary

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

the creation of a pussy!!!

seven wise men,with knowledge so fine

created a pussy to their design.

first was a butcher,smart with wit!

using a knife,he gave it a slit!.

~~~~~~~~

second was a carpenter,strong and bold

with hammer and chisel,he gave it a hole

~~~~~~~~

third was a tailor,tall and thin

by using red velvet,he lined its within.

~~~~~~~~

fourth was a hunter, short and stout

with a piece of fur,he lined it without.

~~~~~~~~

fifth was a fisherman,nast as hell

he threw in a fish,and gave it a smell!.

~~~~~~~~~

sixth was a preacher,whos name was Mcgee

who blessed it and said it could pee.

~~~~~~~~~

finally came a soldier somewhat of a runt

he sucked it,and fucked it,and called it a cunt!!!

joker 2007

been doing a round

sup!! ok been scoutin around the blogs and visited rainybeetles blog again, he sure has got it goin you can find a link to his blog on the right navbar go visit the guy hes pure brilliant,heres his latest video enjoy

jokers last army diary post towards the army... i did it my way!!

ok heres a laugh

right click the bottom url click open in new window? then get back here and read my version

http://www.virginmedia.com/music/musicvideos/rayquinn-myway.php

And now, the end is here,And so I face my final army diary

you fucks, I'll say it clear,I'll state my courtcase, of which I'm certain

I've lived a soldiers life ,in all your jails

I broke each and all youre rulebooks,

And more, much more than this, oooo yes!!I took the piss

Regrets? noo wae ive had a blast

But then again, at your expense

I did what I had to do,to go awol awae from you

I planned each escape, each careful step along the byway

And more, much more than this, ooo yes!!I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

,theres more to life than ironing shirts andbulling fuckin shoes

But through it all, when there was doubt,

i pissed myself laffin, and spat you all out

I faced it all and I stood tall and soooo!!did it my way

I've loved, and screwed a few,I've had my fill, my share of boozing

And now, as i think back, I find it all so fuckin amusing,

To think I did all that
And may I say, to this day"Oh, no, oh, no, wasnae me sir!,

I did it my way"

For who is joker, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught

,To say the things i truly feel

and not the words of one who kneels

, my army records shows I took the blows

and joker did it his way

yes it was done jokers way!!!
lmao joker 2007

british telecom u suck

ok here is a call made too a bt customer in uk ,whom clearly hates the courtesy call(poor guy)

gimme ure fukin wind ups!!!

this is kool if u live in uk?? a classic submitted by hotlips(bitch) lol... enjoy

02_ASDA_PA_Announc...

terminator 3 sppof soo fukin english lmao

Terminator3 Spoof - Funny home videos are a click away

fuck,fuck,fuck, ooooooo lmao just watch it

Pulp Fiction The Fuckin Short Version - Funny bloopers R us

jokers final army diary getting out!!

well it had tae happen in the end!! my much awaited discharge:-)i awoke in my favourite room! (a cell in catterick camp) yes! i was in jail yet againenough was enough, i wanted out and fuckin pronto.and was prepared to do any crime to work my ticket and another few months in the jailwouldnt hurt me,i was well used to it. i was lay on my bunk one day when the saregeant came in.ok watson ure in front off the commanding officer in the morning,what fuckin now i shouted!!just be ready for 09:00 hours. i was woke up about 07:00 and felt like i was going to the fuckin gas chambers :-)taken for a last breakfast ,compliments of the army catering corps(slop jockeys)at 08:45am i was marched from the guardroom across the parade square in front of my buddies!!go on aldo!!,they shouted. "dont let the fuckers grind you down"i pissed maself laughin,as i was marched towards the commanding officers door"and stood outside with one guard in front and one behind!......the door opens and the sargeant screams!!! quick march!!, i slams my foot down in front off the big chiefs desk.screaming my name rank and number!.......ok watson at ease he says...your sentence is up in a weeks time!,what is your intentions?i took a deep breath in! and said/ is this off the record??? go for it he said!..... ok..... when i am released from that shithole you call a prison? i am off again, you,ure guards, and your army, kin go take two fucks to ureself (sir)i could see the colour change in his fuckin face,as the two guards nearly choked with laughter.i was infact a wee bit surprised, when he said ok watson,ure getting youre wish!...you will leave this camp, no longer a soldier........"FUCKIN YALDIE" i thought... mmmm wits the catch here a said?watson!!!, u once were a good soldier,you choose to lead a life that the army can no longer put up with.....i left the army with exactly what i joined with? (fuck all)apart from my hgv liciences,a head full off diaries,and a virgin (no more)thankyou........a.l.d.o. the cooler king"

metacafe my vids

ok im quite happy going with the above its a kool place,they better get ready for some funny chit lol enjoy batman again




Only Fools And Horses - More bloopers are a click away